People of Veracruz

My experiences here in Mexico have both disappointed me and filled my soul with appreciation.

To me - Mexico is the kingdom of 'little white lies'. We have had examples of people who we thought were our friends, lie repeatedly, only to find later that those lies cost us a great deal of money. We have experienced poor service from suppliers and businesses who refuse to take responsibility for their errors. We have often had the experience where we are told something by a local who is trying to tell us what they think we want to hear - rather than what is the truth - a practice that seems to almost be a cultural norm. From this - unfortunately - we have learned not to trust much of what is told to us, and to do our homework ourselves. Most of it is not done so much in malice~I think~, but a kind of - well- procrastination. If you ask for a delivery date for something - and you want it on a certain day - they will respond that they can do that - perhaps even thinking that there is a slight possibility that they could -even though they really can't. Rather than face the consequences of your disappointment, or anger, they tell you what you want to hear rather than the truth - only to have the poor delivery guy get the brunt of your frustration when they didn't do what you asked for. This is just one example, but we have found this type of 'little white lie' saturates society here - so much so that I have started to learn when they are hinting that it just might not happen when they are saying so.

Through this time I have often become -well, disappointed in many around us. It is, as they say, how things are done here. Then, thankfully, before I become too jaded, I have an experience which restores my faith and my love for the Mexican people.

A few weeks ago, we went to Mexico City. While we were waiting for the city bus to pick us up in Paso Dona Juana, I met and chatted with a young man named Jonatan. He was taking the bus to the nearby town where his aunts lived. He is going to college in Cardel to get some type of financial degree. When I asked what type of work he would be able to to - he mentioned a bank teller or financial assistant. He explained that he lives with his grandmother in Paso, and that he has a lot of family in the nearby town of Chilehuite. His mother lives in the US - he hasn't seen her in 10 years ( another sad situation that is prevalent here). They often chat on-line so he can see her with a web-cam, but she cannot return here or she would lose her green card. He never mentioned a father, but I suspect that he is around but not involved like most I situations I have encountered here.

Anyway, he showed up at my door last week to invite me and the boys to the town fiesta. Each town has a Catholic patron saint whose day they celebrate every year. Chilehuite had theirs last week. It is tradition that families will host a meal around their home and invite family, friends and neighbors during the fiesta. If you are invited specifically before the day of the fiesta - then you are almost required to go, as this is a specific invitation. If you are invited as you pass by, then you may decline, indicating that you are already full.

The fiesta starts in the afternoon with a parade led by a statue representing this saint. Usually there are horses (not quite as fancy as the Calgary Stampede) and the school marching band and/or mariachis will play. There are several fair rides, vendors selling churros (Costco sells them - like a long stick donut), corn on a stick (definitely NOT Taber corn), along with various other items for sale.

So the day of the fiesta arrives and my boys are beside themselves with excitement. The main road through town is covered with fair rides, vendors selling food or dollar store type trinkets or clothes. Of course, the music is blaring and everyone from all the neighboring towns are there enjoying the fun. When we arrived, we had barely started exploring when we bumped into Jonaton. He was on his way to videotape the fireworks display and asked us if we would like to see them. The fireworks were supposed to start at 9pm - but of course they were late. This town is very small, but for the size of town, they actually put on a pretty good display with several colorful fireworks. Normally, we only hear noisemakers.

So after the fireworks, he invited us again to come and eat at his aunt's house. Much to the disappointment of the boys - who wanted to enjoy the rides or check out the vendors first, we went. Along the way, we passed a vendor selling cookies and desserts. Jonaton insisted we try some - his treat. Even though I tried to refuse - he insisted. So we each chose something -and though he encouraged us to try more, I just didn't feel right about accepting more treats from him. When we arrived at his aunt's home - the yard is filled with tables and chairs, with temporary shelters covering everything. We were there a little later, so most people had already eaten, so finding a table wasn't difficult. There were still some friends and family sitting around enjoying each other's company.

They were so excited to set in front of us a variety of dishes - mole with chicken and rice, a soup that I can't remember the name of, tamales and deep-fried chile relleno. All of it had a little 'kick' to it, but tolerable to me ( I do not care for spicy food). G finished off two tamales, some of the soup and a couple of the chiles. C was too angry that we didn't do the rides first, and though he did 'try' the food, he insisted he didn't like any of it. When he finally tried the chiles, he did like them and finished off 2 of those. They were very kind and friendly, several of the family members came by to meet us and chat with us. Jonaton explained that there are many in town who would like to meet us, but are intimidated. It was nice to meet more local people.

After we finished, they packed up some food for us to take home with us. Then Jonaton continued to escort us through the fiesta. He bought the boys the little firecracker 'snaps' - you know the little white paper things filled with gunpowder so when you throw it to the ground it snaps. Again, he insisted. He even paid for the kids to go on one of the rides.

I felt a little bit in awe at his generosity. From my culture, it is one thing to host a party and invite the whole town. It is quite another to pay for additional treats at the fiesta. I do know from other fiestas that the host insisted on paying for mariachis and other forms of entertainment - specifically for us. We saw Jonaton's aunt's home from the outside - it was humble. Concrete block construction with paste and paint - not affluent, but not poor either compared to what I see here. There are a lot of cousins raising young children around, all living close by. So I am reminded about what is important - family, friends, health and safety. None of these people have fancy houses, yards or cars. Their homes are very basic, and often the kitchen is outdoors. No dishwashers - MAYBE a washing machine, but certainly not a dryer.

Does Jonaton have an ulterior motive? Perhaps. The social network here is far more set based on your financial means than back home. He certainly didn't ask for any favors. I guess I will

find out in the coming months if he is looking for something from us (job, favor). In the meantime, I am happy to experience such generosity from someone who doesn't have a lot materialistically. I am also happy to have my faith and love restored in my neighbors.

Trip to Mexico City

We finally did it - we travelled to Mexico City. Up until now we had travelled through the city only via the airport. I needed to update my passport, and felt it better to go to the Embassy myself to make sure everything was correct - especially the passport photos.


For those of you who don't know, Mexico City is huge! The entire population of Canada is about the same as Mexico City. To keep smog down, they have rules about what kinds of vehicles can drive on what days - and since we drive a 4x4 truck, I didn't even want to try to drive it there. So for the first time, we tried the bus system.


The bus system in Mexico is far better than good old Greyhound in Canada or the US. They have different levels - from economy to executive to first class buses. The prices are reasonable if not down-right great. So here is how we scheduled our trip -


We took a city bus ($12 pesos/$1 US) from our little town into Cardel, then took a $20 peso ($1.67) taxi ride to the ADO bus station in town. The city buses around here are like retired school buses - pretty run down - all standard transmissions - and a/c only available through the windows when the bus is in motion. Then we bought our tickets for an ADO bus to Jalapa, Veracruz. My ticket was $50 pesos ($4.17 US) and the boys were half price each. The ADO bus is more like what I remember Greyhound to be like. They were air conditioned, but there wasn't much room to move around. The ride from Cardel to Jalapa is less than an hour, so no big deal.


Then we waited in Jalapa for a few hours while we waited for the next bus to Mexico City. Oh, I have to tell you about the restrooms at the bus station. You have to pay to use them - no free bathrooms. It costs $3 pesos/person (or child) ($.25US) - not a lot, but somehow the idea of paying to use the restroom in a bus station seemed wrong. In addition to that - once you are in the washroom - you have to notice the toilet paper rolls on the wall - if not, you will not find any paper in the stall. Perhaps the Mexican people are better at guessing how much paper they will be needing BEFORE they go into the stall - I am not used to making this estimation. Of course, the first time I used the washroom - I did NOT notice the dispensers on the wall, so luckily I have the habit of keeping some extra tissues in my purse for emergencies......




From Jalapa to Mexico City we took the executive class - ADO-GL. This cost me about $280 pesos ($23US) and once again the kids were half price each. This bus was much more comfy - screens lowered down like you would find on an airplane, they provided you with head sets, beverages, coffee and tea service at the back of the bus and mens and ladies washrooms. The seats were roomier and more comfortable. The boys of course thought this bus ride was great - they got to watch movies (although they were only available in Spainsh) and they had room to stretch. The bus goes non-stop to Mexico City - so we were expecting to arrive by about 8:30.


We picked a bad day to travel. A big rain storm hit Mexico City - flooding the underpasses, making travel nearly impossible. It took us about 2 hours to get to the bus terminal once we were inside Mexico City. We stopped in front of a Walmart for at least 45 minutes of that time, - too bad I didn't know how long - could have gone in to shop....



Once we finally got to the bus terminal, we found the taxi pick-up location. We couldn't believe our eyes - a huge line! It is now 10:30 at night - we are all hungry, tired, and the line goes on forever. We stood in line for a few minutes thinking that it will still move along quickly - WRONG. Of course, the taxis that serve the bus terminal are exclusive - so not just any taxi can go there. Add to that the problems with the roads, and only one taxi every 15 minutes was arriving to take people where they wanted to go in a city of 35+ million people! We left the line to try to find food since I didn't think the boys could hold out for who knew how long. Only one place was open - and they were only serving a limited menu as apparently their power was out. The bus station was flooded in many areas - so I'm not sure if the power was turned off due to the flooding or knocked out - either way - no pretty. We got a club sandwich for the boys to share and headed back to the line. Now it was even longer. The line had to be at least 50 meters long. I took a photo of about 1/3 of the line in front of us - the remainder wound around the corner to the taxi pick-up location.The photo is a little blurry as it was dark, but it gives you some idea. Having eaten, the boys were tired, so they layed on the ground and moved up when they had to.

We finally got to my in-laws appartment at about 12:30 in the morning! Whew!

The next morning I went to the embassy to take care of business. After spending most of the day running around - goal accomplished. I returned to find out that all the other retired couples had temporarily adopted my children as grandchildren for the day - G had so much fun - he played basketball with a couple of them - one of which seemed to hit it off with. C spent time with his Grandmother who let him find all kinds of games and print-outs on-line. We met a cool couple who know my Grandparents in Hayward California.



Our in-laws (suegros) live in the appartments behind the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Temple in Mexico City. The appartments are church owned - as they are currently serving a Temple Service mission. The next morning I took a few photos of the boys in front of the appartments and then the temple, and we were on our way back. Well, that was it for our visit - I saw very little of the city other than the Polanco area where the embassy is located. We headed out in the morning, this time our trip back was fast and event-free. We just might consider another trip just to visit sometime.....

What's new with us!

Ok, I know it has been a REALLY long time since I posted anything. I've been a little bit overwhelmed with stuff.

So here's a quick update. We are all healthy and fine - no we didn't die from the so-called deadly Swine flu - we had it - IT WAS ONLY A FLU!! We're pretty sure we got sick from it, but no hospitalization or medication necessary for myself and the kids, Bill took antibiotics. The hype is ridiculous. It was no different than any other flu.... Ok, so enough about that rant.


Bill returned to Canada to sell more houses and work at the end of May, and myself and the boys have been living in Paso ever since. We are definitely not the typical family. Is it difficult to live in Mexico without my husband? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Bill and I have often been apart for weeks, and months throughout our courtship and marriage, so for us it is somewhat normal. This particular time will be the longest, and the furthest apart. It sucks taking care of all the business matters, family matters, and household matters myself - but lots of single mothers do that, so what do I have to complain about? Thankfully, I've been blessed with talents and abilities that make it possible....

As of July, we have been here for one year. My Spanish still isn't as good as I would like it to be. I want to take a course in Veracruz later this fall to fill in some of the gaps and concentrate my efforts. There is a great Spanish Immersion school that customizes their approach to each client, first sending you out into the community to test your skills ( or lack thereof), then based on what they find, they develop a plan to teach you what you are specifically missing. Even if you don't know anything. Don't get me wrong, I can function very well, I understand most of what is going on around me and I learn more all the time. Phone calls are far more difficult than personal conversations - it is surprising how much I interpret through facial expressions, hand gestures, etc. The boys however are not learning as quickly as I am, they just don't have to use it as much.

So what's our life like? We spend a great deal of time at the beach, I work on various things, like maintaining the property, cleaning, etc. while the boys play. We buy our veggies and fruits from a local market in the neighboring town of San Isidro on Mondays and Fridays. We go into Cardel ( or nearest small city) to get groceries or run errands for the company about once a week. I home school the boys for a few hours a day, and the rest of the time I check emails or do housework. Sundays we go to church. That's it. Exciting huh! Actually, every day holds some kind of new adventure. Chasing crabs or Toads at the beach, digging for burried treasure, or swimming in the ocean are the kids' favorites. For me, I have more to do than I would like, but I always have been busy. I have to stop and remind myself of where I live and stop to look at the beautiful ocean every once in a while. Thankfully, the kids help me to do that when they demand to go swimming.

What do I miss? Chinese take-out, pickles, ichiban noodles and rootbeer. Quite a combination, I know, but these are the things that are really hard to find here. The boys say they miss snow and building snowmen - I think they forgot that the number of days where that was possible were few either due to the cold or the type of snow. Most importantly we all miss our friends. There is a lot to keep us busy enough that we don't dwell on it, but the boys still think that we could go back to our old house and all their friends will still be there. For sure they won't be able to go to our old house - we sold it -and I don't know if all their friends will still be there or not. I miss getting together with my friends for a playdate and letting our kids play while we visit. I have great friends in Canada, who I miss a great deal. Each of them edified and uplifted me. I do have some friends here, but hmmm how do I explain..... Ok, having a conversation in Spanish takes a lot of concentration on my part, and most of the time, I still don't have the vocabulary to truly express myself the way I can in English. So even though I may understand most of what my friend is saying, it takes a lot of work to understand her, then formulate an answer to it, which is nowhere near what I would really like to say - if that makes any sense. I think I understand the mind of a two or three year old. Visiting with a friend certainly isn't a relaxing activity like it was.

Anyway - that's our life here in a nutshell....

Christmas in Mexico

We didn't have any snow, but it still felt like Christmas inside. I bought a gingerbread house from Costco and the boys had a blast decorating/eating it. I made them wait until I took a picture before they could devour it.

Since we left our fake tree in Canada, we bought a real one here - a Douglas fir tree - it was very soft and looked great -until after Christmas. Tius, our dog, discovered the tree made a great back scratcher, and consequently rubbed all the needles off the bottom quarter of the tree. The kittens also played a part in the destruction as they thought the tree made a great place to hide in and that the balls made great toys. Every morning I would wake up to hundreds of pine needles on the floor along with half a dozen Christmas balls rolling around. I finally got rid of the tree a couple days before New Years because I was tired of sweeping up pine needles.

The boys opened up their presents in a hurry and we spent the rest of the afternoon at the beach with friends and Bill's aunt and uncle who have recently moved to the area.

It was 35 degrees celcius that afternoon, but with the ocean breeze, it felt just right. I cooked a turkey and Bill's aunt brought the veggies, potatoes and dessert.