People of Veracruz

My experiences here in Mexico have both disappointed me and filled my soul with appreciation.

To me - Mexico is the kingdom of 'little white lies'. We have had examples of people who we thought were our friends, lie repeatedly, only to find later that those lies cost us a great deal of money. We have experienced poor service from suppliers and businesses who refuse to take responsibility for their errors. We have often had the experience where we are told something by a local who is trying to tell us what they think we want to hear - rather than what is the truth - a practice that seems to almost be a cultural norm. From this - unfortunately - we have learned not to trust much of what is told to us, and to do our homework ourselves. Most of it is not done so much in malice~I think~, but a kind of - well- procrastination. If you ask for a delivery date for something - and you want it on a certain day - they will respond that they can do that - perhaps even thinking that there is a slight possibility that they could -even though they really can't. Rather than face the consequences of your disappointment, or anger, they tell you what you want to hear rather than the truth - only to have the poor delivery guy get the brunt of your frustration when they didn't do what you asked for. This is just one example, but we have found this type of 'little white lie' saturates society here - so much so that I have started to learn when they are hinting that it just might not happen when they are saying so.

Through this time I have often become -well, disappointed in many around us. It is, as they say, how things are done here. Then, thankfully, before I become too jaded, I have an experience which restores my faith and my love for the Mexican people.

A few weeks ago, we went to Mexico City. While we were waiting for the city bus to pick us up in Paso Dona Juana, I met and chatted with a young man named Jonatan. He was taking the bus to the nearby town where his aunts lived. He is going to college in Cardel to get some type of financial degree. When I asked what type of work he would be able to to - he mentioned a bank teller or financial assistant. He explained that he lives with his grandmother in Paso, and that he has a lot of family in the nearby town of Chilehuite. His mother lives in the US - he hasn't seen her in 10 years ( another sad situation that is prevalent here). They often chat on-line so he can see her with a web-cam, but she cannot return here or she would lose her green card. He never mentioned a father, but I suspect that he is around but not involved like most I situations I have encountered here.

Anyway, he showed up at my door last week to invite me and the boys to the town fiesta. Each town has a Catholic patron saint whose day they celebrate every year. Chilehuite had theirs last week. It is tradition that families will host a meal around their home and invite family, friends and neighbors during the fiesta. If you are invited specifically before the day of the fiesta - then you are almost required to go, as this is a specific invitation. If you are invited as you pass by, then you may decline, indicating that you are already full.

The fiesta starts in the afternoon with a parade led by a statue representing this saint. Usually there are horses (not quite as fancy as the Calgary Stampede) and the school marching band and/or mariachis will play. There are several fair rides, vendors selling churros (Costco sells them - like a long stick donut), corn on a stick (definitely NOT Taber corn), along with various other items for sale.

So the day of the fiesta arrives and my boys are beside themselves with excitement. The main road through town is covered with fair rides, vendors selling food or dollar store type trinkets or clothes. Of course, the music is blaring and everyone from all the neighboring towns are there enjoying the fun. When we arrived, we had barely started exploring when we bumped into Jonaton. He was on his way to videotape the fireworks display and asked us if we would like to see them. The fireworks were supposed to start at 9pm - but of course they were late. This town is very small, but for the size of town, they actually put on a pretty good display with several colorful fireworks. Normally, we only hear noisemakers.

So after the fireworks, he invited us again to come and eat at his aunt's house. Much to the disappointment of the boys - who wanted to enjoy the rides or check out the vendors first, we went. Along the way, we passed a vendor selling cookies and desserts. Jonaton insisted we try some - his treat. Even though I tried to refuse - he insisted. So we each chose something -and though he encouraged us to try more, I just didn't feel right about accepting more treats from him. When we arrived at his aunt's home - the yard is filled with tables and chairs, with temporary shelters covering everything. We were there a little later, so most people had already eaten, so finding a table wasn't difficult. There were still some friends and family sitting around enjoying each other's company.

They were so excited to set in front of us a variety of dishes - mole with chicken and rice, a soup that I can't remember the name of, tamales and deep-fried chile relleno. All of it had a little 'kick' to it, but tolerable to me ( I do not care for spicy food). G finished off two tamales, some of the soup and a couple of the chiles. C was too angry that we didn't do the rides first, and though he did 'try' the food, he insisted he didn't like any of it. When he finally tried the chiles, he did like them and finished off 2 of those. They were very kind and friendly, several of the family members came by to meet us and chat with us. Jonaton explained that there are many in town who would like to meet us, but are intimidated. It was nice to meet more local people.

After we finished, they packed up some food for us to take home with us. Then Jonaton continued to escort us through the fiesta. He bought the boys the little firecracker 'snaps' - you know the little white paper things filled with gunpowder so when you throw it to the ground it snaps. Again, he insisted. He even paid for the kids to go on one of the rides.

I felt a little bit in awe at his generosity. From my culture, it is one thing to host a party and invite the whole town. It is quite another to pay for additional treats at the fiesta. I do know from other fiestas that the host insisted on paying for mariachis and other forms of entertainment - specifically for us. We saw Jonaton's aunt's home from the outside - it was humble. Concrete block construction with paste and paint - not affluent, but not poor either compared to what I see here. There are a lot of cousins raising young children around, all living close by. So I am reminded about what is important - family, friends, health and safety. None of these people have fancy houses, yards or cars. Their homes are very basic, and often the kitchen is outdoors. No dishwashers - MAYBE a washing machine, but certainly not a dryer.

Does Jonaton have an ulterior motive? Perhaps. The social network here is far more set based on your financial means than back home. He certainly didn't ask for any favors. I guess I will

find out in the coming months if he is looking for something from us (job, favor). In the meantime, I am happy to experience such generosity from someone who doesn't have a lot materialistically. I am also happy to have my faith and love restored in my neighbors.

Fiestas!

One of the things I love about Mexico is the fiestas. Boy, do they like to party. Now, before you conjure up images of workplace Christmas parties, fiestas are a family affair.
Let’s take for example a birthday party. All of your family is invited, adults and children alike. If you are specifically invited, it is considered an insult if you no-show. Be prepared to either have a REALLY good excuse why you can’t go, or you will hurt their feelings. So for our friends’ daughter’s 2nd birthday, our whole family and all their friends’ families are invited. No more small gatherings of a handful of children. How extravagant the party is depends on your economic status. This friend of ours is fairly affluent, so the party was pretty extravagant.
When you arrive, you are warmly greeted by everyone there, but especially the host. They help you find a table (yes, it is almost like going to a restaurant), get refreshments for you and serve food to you (either themselves or one of their servers). Usually they visit for a few minutes and move on to visit with others. How often they are back to visit depends on how busy they are and how many friends they need to visit. Typically, we have similar friend circles so we usually sit at a table with other friends we already know. For the adults, that’s pretty much the extent of the day/evening. We chat and visit for hours. That may sound boring, but Mexicans generally have mastered the art of conversation. Even Bill enjoys sitting and visiting with friends at these fiestas.

For the children, the parties are similar to what you would find in Canada or the US, though the theme party is not quite as big here – or so it would seem. Don’t get me wrong – this little girl loves ‘Tinkerbell’ so she was wearing a ‘Tinkerbell’ costume and had a few balloons, but we weren’t inundated with Tinkerbell. Sometimes there are swim parties – this party wasn’t particularly a swim party, but the boys could go swimming as our friend owns the pool and facility.
At this party, they hired a party group that provided entertainment for the children with games, music and piñatas (yes, plural - they do 2). The parents could just relax and visit while the children were occupied. Of course, my kids were a little shy about playing the games as they weren’t entirely sure what they were doing. They played a different version of musical chairs – except they used hats in the middle. They played some games with some of the adults and the entertainment part of the party was over.
Two large cakes were cut and distributed. The cakes (pastels) here are different, though I can’t quite describe how. Sweeter for sure, almost more pudding cake than what we are used to. The boys like it but Bill and I aren’t big fans (just as well for my waistline!) Then the kids play and the adult continue to visit. Most of the parties I’ve been to start at about 2 or 3 in the afternoon and end in the evening – around 5 or 6pm. At least kids parties are that way.
We have been invited to about 1-2 parties per month – either for birthdays, town fiestas, or one quince años (I’ll explain about that in another blog). It is a lot of fun and our boys are starting to expect them. They’ve already started planning theirs. Swimming is a must according to them.