Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead)

While most of you were celebrating Halloween, I was silent to my boys about it. You see, Halloween is not really celebrated here. They do celebrate Dia de los Muertos. Now, this was the confusing part - I was getting different descriptions from different people about what to expect on this holiday. Then I did some research on-line. What I basically gathered was that the kids still go out in costume on Nov 1 -not Oct 31 and sing a song to get sweets. So I decided not to bring up Halloween and that we would celebrate on the 1st.

Dia de los Muertos is celebrated as kind of a mix between ancient Aztec culture and catholic beliefs with a little American Halloween thrown in. I think the mixture is the reason why I was getting mixed messages. Basically this day is specifically for remembering loved ones who have passed on. They build small alters in their house covered in greenery and flowers (mostly orange ones) then they burn a special incense that you buy at the market in chunks of what looks like rock wrapped in newspaper.

On the alter they place favorite treats or food that the deceased loved ones liked. No one else is supposed to touch the food as it is believed that the spirits visit the homes of their living families and 'absorb' the smells and tastes of the treats or food on the alter. They believe that after Dia de los Muertos, the food has no flavor because the spirits took it away. ( Or MAYBE its just gross from sitting out for a day or two????)

In addition to the alters in their homes, they spend days cleaning, grooming and decorating the cemetary. By Nov 2 the cemetary is bright and colorful with flower arrangements. They pray for and remember those who passed on.

There was quite a bit of bustle around town-and a lot of flowers. That evening Bill was with clients so the boys and I went for a walk in town to see what was happening. There were a hand-full of boys walking around with masks on chanting, "Queremos Halloween!"(we want Halloween) I told my boys that these boys weren't supposed to be out and were early -but inside I panicked. Now my sons know it's Halloween and what if there is no Halloween like some have said?

Nov.1 we go out first thing (well for Mexico it's about 10:00) and head into the local small city of Cardel to get Halloween stuff. To further create confusion for me, There is very little in the way of Halloween stuff. There is a lot of decorative type stuff- but very few costumes and no face paint. Yikes! I had seen a few costumes at Walmart in Jalapa(which I was not going to drive there), and I knew there was one place in town that had expensive costumes - which I could not afford.

We bought a couple of wall decorations and went to a couple of bigger stores here hoping to find face paint as the boys just wanted to be 'scary' this Halloween. Hmmm, could not find what we wanted. We went to a local kid's store (like a Please Mom with toys) where I knew they had superhero and princess costumes hoping they would be on sale being the last day. Alas, no. I do have a girlfriend who owns the store with her mom, so I asked her about what to expect. Again I got a slightly different answer. Now I am starting to freak out a little. I bought quite a bit of candy ( and no they didn't have much Halloween candy like in Canada -just regular stuff you find in packages in the candy isle) thinking that we might have to make our own Halloween.

Bill called and mentioned that he had seen masks in the market so we wandered that way. There we saw so many flowers it was amazing. The markets were full of people - more activity than usual. There were also stands selling bread - which I figured was 'sweet bread' which is a special bread they eat to celebrate this special day.

There were also little stands selling all kinds of sweets. Decorated skulls made from sugar ( ugh my teeth hurt just looking at them) lined the stand along with many other little treats. I bought my boys each a skull, and the nice guy at the stand gave them another tiny one as a gift (regalo) very nice - but yikes! More sugar.

One of the things I was told is that the kids go out during the afternoon, before dark. so at about that time we went for a walk to talk to our friend Juan who owned one of the local stores (tiendas). He spoke pretty decent English and would know what is traditional in our little town (puebla). He told me that the kids go out at night and that the 1st was for the little kids and the 2nd was for the older ones. Ok - finally we had a solid answer. Now all I have to do is make the kids wait until sundown.

After the sun set we ventured out. Thinking that it was somewhat like trick or treating, we approached a couple of houses that had exterior lights on. No one answered. Then we went to another place. The very nice lady answered in her house coat. Hmmmm. She motioned for us to enter her house (a no-no in Canada but nearly a requirement here -it would be rude to stand outside). She loves the boys' masks and proceeds to check her fridge. I tried to tell her not much, but she filled their bags with probably a good percentage of the fruit she had in her fridge, half a loaf of sweet bread as well as cookies and sweets that she handed to me for me! Ok, so now I'm worried again. Was I supposed to do or bring something? I didn't bring a bag for my goodies - I didn't know I needed to! The boys are a little puzzled by the fruit, but thankfully we've taught them to be appreciative of whatever they are given because it may be all they have to give.

I left that house with mixed emotions. Incredibly impressed by the generosity of this lady and most of the other people we have met here in Mexico, who other than knowing OF us, did not actually know us, and gave us a good percentage of her groceries. I also left feeling completely guilty not knowing what her situation was, and that she gave us A LOT, and that we would likely not appreciate it nearly as much as we should (the bread and cookies are not like we are used to we don't care for them), and that because of their generous nature, she would likely go without so my boys could have Halloween.

Now we progress with my children completely excited about Halloween, and me dreading what else lay ahead and how selfish I will feel by the end of the night.

The next home we approach contained people that we knew enough to recognize as the owners of the local tortilla store in town. They were excited to see us and tried to teach my boys how to sing the whole song - we just settled on the Quiermos Halloween part. They gave the boys a little money, more fruit and cookies as well as more cookies for me (plus a bag to put my growing treat supply in). It was still alot, but at least this family seemed ready for us and it felt like something normal.

We decided to go to the tiendas (stores) in town next. At least there I knew I had at least purchased groceries there so I could feel less guilty about my sons getting treats. Sure enough, they had some treats from the store they gave away.

We went to a few more houses - all with mixed results - some people ignored us (I was beginning to wonder if we were only supposed to visit friends' houses?), some people welcomed us and gave us more of their fruit and some had actual candy.

We stopped at the house where we pay our rent (as I needed to do so) and they graciously offered a chair to sit on while they wrote up the receipt. They also had treats for the boys. At the house, some of the extended family were there for the holidays. They have sons a little older than my boys, some of which speak English and offered to take my boys with them to get more treats, I decided to let them go - I wanted them to find more friends to play with.

While I waited for the boys to return, they offered to give me yet more food - tamales. When the boys returned, we thanked them and went on our way.

On the way home a group of older girls asked if they could take a picture with my sons. After each of them had their turn, I took a picture of all the girls with my boys, so you can see their fan club. The girls weren't dressed up as the older kids go out the next night.

We came home that night with so many fruits and cookies it was hard to imagine. Yes, they also got candies, but not that many (just fine with me). I still marveled at the generosity of these people. Most of the ones who gave us so much we had never spoken to before. I wondered what I could do to somehow repay these people-as even that can be complicated. I determined to find some way.

I am grateful for that experience, and for my sons' humility. They never complained one little bit about the cookies that they didn't like or all the fruit. Actually, they like fruit - so no problem. I was also grateful to learn more about the generous nature of these humble people.